Pacts

I’ve thought for miles
exhausted
from reacting to surroundings;
which of none I am resigned.

Every step I take,
accosted
by the foreign quiet of a path
versus noise within my mind.

I look around
transported
to the heavy weight of knowing;
I’m here to please others, not me.

I’m further away.
distorted
between where I once thought
I meant to go, and here.

Why is it painful;
indulging
in pacts with yourself
to stay happy from the start?

Here I am again
bulging
with unrest from following
my fear and not my heart.