Oops!

Calum John the crofter
Cycled down the brae.
He wore his Sunday stay-press pants,
And a hat in matching grey.
His clean white shirt and handkerchief,
Were ironed to perfection,
For Calum John the crofter
Didn’t want rejection.

He parked his bike, and padlocked it,
Outside the town job centre,
He smoothed his hair with spittle,
In the doorway as he entered.
“I’ve come about this job on top,”
He said to Morag Jean.
When she read his application
Morag shrieked and screamed.

“This job is in Africa!”
She said to Calum John.
“There must be some mistake,” he said,
Feeling rather conned.
“I’ve bought myself new underpants,
Especially for the mission.
And I’ve practiced in the mirror,
For this missionary position.”

By Hazy Dizzylady (The Highland Island Bard)